to cover bulletin boards/is this legal?

Two parts today. Part one is my typical blog, me ranting about a specific subject. Part two is going to be something that I don’t even know that I can do, so sorry WordPress if I broke some rules or something, please don’t make me shut down my blog.  Okay. Let’s begin.

Part one: To cover bulletin boards

So we are renovation our preschool at my church, and I was helping today by recovering the bulletin boards with white paper.  It seems like an easy task, but really I should never have been assigned this task.  The reasons follow.

1. You have to use staplers in order to staple the paper to the board.  It doesn’t seem like that much of an issue, but it is.  So back in like 3rd grade, I stapled my finger, because what else are you supposed to staple, the paper? I stapled my finger, and I did not cry.  Or whine (well I probably whined because I whine about everything). Or yell.  I took it like a man.  Except not like a man because there was a boy in my class who stapled his finger, and he cried.  I was strong.  The reason why I tell you this story is because that stapler incident was the first hate crime against me committed by a stapler.  Today, two  three staplers decided to break on me, shooting staples all over the classroom and cutting my fingers multiple times.  That is why I should never be holding a stapler to the wall or anywhere for that matter.

2. I actually can’t use a stapler.  I’ll either staple it too hard, or too loose so my staple will fall out.  I don’t understand.  There are staples on that bulletin board that have been there for 20 years, but mine can’t stay up for 20 milliseconds.  I just don’t get it.

3. Here is an illustration of me next to the huge bulletin board.  It’s basically like a garden gnome trying to wrap a house in wrapping paper. But PLOT TWIST the wrapping paper is slightly damp for unknown reasons, and you can only attach the paper with staples. (I’m not sure why the board is green in my illustration, but I deleted the file and therefore cannot change it)Image4. I can’t judge the size of the paper to the bulletin board.   Image

Needless to say, a lot of paper was wasted. 

That’s end of part one.  Sorry about the illustrations.  I needed to use my Illustrator, so what better artistic use that stick figure drawings?

Part Two, which I don’t know is even legal whoops.

Can I do this? Okay so I’m having a fundraiser on Indeigogo to raise some money to start a camp for kids with OCD. If you have time and money, check it out and maybe donate, maybe? If you don’t, it’s totally okay and I understand. But if you have an extra quarter or two million lying around, we wouldn’t mind if you gave it to us.  Hopefully I remember to put the link in.. Forgot that yesterday. Aren’t I great at this nonprofit stuff? (no response required)


to guest play

First things first.  There are two types of guest playing in soccer. 

1.We really need a player for this weekend, please, please come play with us so we don’t have to forfeit. 

And the second type. 

2.Come guest play with us so that we can scout you can see if you are good enough to play with us next season.

Let’s make it very clear that I only do the first type of guest playing.  Here’s why.

1. You can experiment.  When you guest play (especially when guest playing out of retirement), everyone is forced to lower their expectations.  They can’t get mad at you for a bad pass because you’re their guest.  And I love that.  I love trying new distribution when I’m guest playing because it’s okay to mess up.  

2. You don’t have to use the players real names.  One of the issues that I’ve always run into in my soccer career is remembering my teammates names.  I know that it is terrible, and I feel bad when I forget my left defenders name in the middle of a game.  But the show  game must go on.  So I call her something else.  When you guest play, you aren’t supposed to know all the names, so you can get away with calling that girl Margot, when her name has been Maggie for the past 16 years. 

3. You can be a diva. You can demand that someone warm you up.  Why? Because you are guest playing.  You have no obligation to be here. You can walk away at half time, and what is the coach going to do? Kick you off the team? You weren’t on the team in the first place.  

4. You get to hear all the soccer drama again.  A few months in retirement leaves one out of the loop, so getting back in the loop for a few hours can be an awesome reminder of why you left the loop in the first place. (Plus, everyone knows who is being recruited, and you, even though you’re in retirement, need to know too).

And that’s why I love guest playing.  Maybe All my reasons are selfish reasons, but you are leaving your beachside condo  living room couch to help a team out.