to photography

I did not pick up a camera until 10th grade, and even then I did so reluctantly, actually to fulfill the fine arts requirement. Since I realized mid-summer that I needed fine arts credits in order to graduate, I could either take photography or acting. I choose photography.

As soon as I began shooting, I was in love. The thing that I love the most about photography is the ability that it gives the artist to control their environment and learn how to focus on the things that are beautiful. I feel like a treasure hunter when I shoot. I am finding the beauty on my home planet. I am not creating it, for it is already there. I am simply finding and capturing it for all to enjoy.

This idea that photography captures beauty that already exists carried me through some rough times. When my ocd picked up and I couldn’t really read, I turned to photography to get out of the prison of anxiety that my mind had created. With photography, I was given a new mind set. I was able to put down all my intrusive thoughts and simply find beauty in a way that I hadn’t been able to do for a very long time. My photos became my anchor, the thing that reminded me when things were tough that there was still beauty. “look, you were able to find beauty here. it still exists,” my photos would say to me. “there is a world outside of your mind.”

to say that photography cured my ocd would be a huge overstatement, but i think it would be fair to say that it helped me realize why I needed to get better. When I was so trapped in my mind, everything that I saw was distorted. Things that were harmless to others, my mind turned into things that would surely kill me. All the words that I saw were simply more things that needed to be counted. But with photography, I was granted a new brain, in a way. When you are handed a camera, there is a sort of unspoken demand: you will use this to find beauty. you will use this to show emotion. you will use this to move people.

Soon, those demands that came along with being handed a camera seeped into my life. You will find beauty. You will show emotion. You will move people.

to share my writing

“eraser shavings”

as soon as I learned how to write with a pencil (the crayons and markers were hibernating until art class) the shavings appeared.

just a few at first, when I would misspell a word (a common thing when you go to a Montessori elementary school) and actually catch the error (a not so common thing when you go to a Montessori elementary school)

beliv  became believe with a cloud of eraser shavings acting as a halo around the corrected mistake

the cloud was dispersed with a brush of a hand leaving a clean surface for the next crime to be committed

for the sake of aging teachers’ eyeballs, the pen usurped the pencil, but not the shavings. they simply transformed from halo clouds into tornadoes that touched down and interrupted the flow of the now damaged world.

it was around this time, the introduction of the pen, that we began to realize that there were worse things that misspelled words

it was around this time that our writing began to look like soldiers’ letters home, sentences blacked out. CLASSIFIED information made its way into out writing, and we were left to decide if it was ready for the public eyes or if it needed to placed into the folder marked TOP SECRET: AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.

(no one knew that we were the only authorized personnel)

the teacher continued to age, and soon we were forced to put down the pen for the keyboard.

our chicken scratch handwriting now replaced with standardized pixels on a screen, our misspelled words now brought their squiggly red snakes out as playmates. 

it was around this time that we were introduced to the delete key.  

no longer were there halos surrounding the corrected mistake, or even tornadoes attempting to hide leaked information.

now there was white.

blizzards covered our mistakes so that we were the only ones who knew they once existed, and we kept building right on top of the fresh snow, adding layers and layers until even we forgot where the mistakes once existed. 

to start 2014 with some nice things

1. wordless web– removes all the words on the page, leaving you with just pictures and colors.  Don’t worry though, you can get them back by refreshing the page.  (just drag the little head to your toolbar and enjoy)

2. verse of the day– daily Bible verse.  I started a mini sort of Bible study using this with a few people at school.  Very simple, straightforward, and a great way to add His word to daily life.

3. new years resolutions– random resolutions for you to attempt to do.  

4. frozen– best movie ever.  Go build a snow man with someone you love. 

and a picture for good measure.  (photo creds to anna)

Enjoy your year, everyone.  Do something new.  Learn how to knit.  Drink more tea.  Drink less tea.  Find God in everyone you meet.